The Bath Less Travelled and the Defiance of Self Care

I took a bath.

Now for some people that may not sound like a huge deal, but I will tell you with a new baby my life has consisted of very hurried showers followed by a wardrobe of well worn t-shirts and shorts on most days. Some days no shower at all if I’m being one hundred percent honest. Even during pregnancy, there’s a point where you’re not trying to descend anywhere at all, lest you never rise again.

Remember When?

I’ve always had a lovely relationship with baths. As a kid, I remember bath toys and dolls. I remember my grandmother putting a little Joy in the tub to really get those bubbles going. I’ve never had a bubble bath that bubbled quite like dish soap so mind your business . As an adolescent when I was feeling fancy I would break out my Bath and Bodyworks or Victoria’s Secret bubble bath, shower gel, lotion and Eau de Toilette. Why? Because matching everything was fancy and on those days you had to coordinate, again mind your business. (Big shout out to Love Spell!) As an adult, I would take myself to the Spa, go to the sauna and then the bathhouse. I would soak in the heated tubs, dip in the cold tubs, then back (this is supposed to be good for skin health so why not). Then I would attack my dead skin with a vengeance with a sisal towel. Refreshing let me tell you. Afterwards a cold serving of Fuji Apple sake and California rolls in the café while conversing with a friend or just scrolling through my phone. I was relaxed honey. I was peaceful.

So what happened?

I thought to myself where did all of that go? Why hadn’t I even been able to take 30 minutes to myself? I realized between working, parenting, trying to be a good wife, mom, daughter and friend (and feeling like I wasn’t quite reaching any of my goals on any) I was burning out and didn’t feel like I had even have a half hour to breathe let alone do something for myself. It’s a trapping many fall into especially moms. That is not how I want to exist and not the example I want to set for my daughter.

That to say, I’ve always loved a good bath. But I realized one day that I haven’t enjoyed that particular experience since I had my little. Time passes so quickly and it had been over a year since either health constraints or time constraints made baths unavailable to me. So, I took a bath. Was it a fancy bath? Not at all. I used some of my baby’s leftover lavender bath gel in the water, ran it super warm and just got in. We don’t even bath her in that anymore, but it had been so long the bath beads and bombs I had were congealed in a most unappealing way or had basically turned to dust. (Did I pause to clean out and rearrange the bathroom cabinet before the bath? Yes, I’m still me )

Getting Back to the Middle

Social media has batted around “self care” as a term for awhile now. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines self care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider”. But in my opinion, it just boils down to taking care of yourself sometimes so you can be healthy as an individual. Doing things that bring you joy in a moment, which is often hard. We can’t even exist in a moment, let alone add enjoyment into it. As a panorama first time mom I have spent far less time on me and have had to contend with all the anxieties the panna cotta and motherhood thrusts on you. It’s a difficult balance to figure out where you’re being perfectly logical or a little cray cray. That’s part of why you need to take care of yourself.

My husband tells me, as well as other friends and family, to take time for yourself and it can feel cliché, but cliché doesn’t mean untrue. You also have to make an intentional decision to take that time out. You have to defy the part of your mind that says you should do something else for someone else. Time won’t magically appear. So, I decided to get back to some of the things that bring me comfort and joy and bring balance to the force as it were. (No jedi children were harmed for this post.)

What self care and living in the moment mean can really vary based on who you ask but for me, that day, it was one hot bath. Find your hot bath y’all. You’ll be the better for it.